Blog 13: Script Reflection

To be honest, when we first started this project, I was very excited about it. I had a good idea and I couldn't wait for it to come alive on the page. Now that it's done, I feel kind of bad about it because I had a lot of pages and then I lost half of them halfway through and lost my motivation as well. This caused me to pretty much stop writing because I was depressed and didn't have any ideas. I did not find the planning workbook to be very helpful in my endeavors as I knew most stuff in it already and it was structured in a way I didn't like. Also, the ridiculous amount of time we spent working on the planning workbook also pretty much exhausted my time limit for still being excited about the script. Probably mostly what I learned when doing this project was that on large projects it's important for me to feel like I can work at my own pace and feel rewarded for getting work done. My final script is like 10 pages because I lost work and gave up halfway through. In that sense I managed my time carelessly but I don't find writing to be a fun or rewarding exercise of creativity when doing it makes me feel frustrated and depressed. I think that pretty much all of my script is strong, good work as I spent a lot of time on what I did write. I am happy with it because I think the dialogue is very strong and it sounds like stuff people would actually say. I also think the description is sufficient to allow the script to come to life but still leave room for imagination. Its main weakness is it's length, as I did not even get to the part where the actual movie starts actually happening. If I had more time in the course, to be honest I would probably write a short story. That was what I was really looking forward to doing, and unfortunately that is not the way that it worked out this time. I might do it on my own time over the summer though :)

Blog 12- Scene Strengths and Weaknesses

After my peer review session, some stuff has come to light about my script. Everyone said I had strong dialogue, which I actually agree with. Some people commented that they liked my action notes as well. I think those are the main strengths of this part of my script. I especially like how I used Britishisms such as "snogging" which makes it seem more realistic that this scene is set in Britain.  The biggest weakness about this scene is probably that it is cliche. The eager man, the grumpy and reluctant woman. I would probably try to make the beginning of my script less cliche if I had the chance to write it again.

Previous Dialogue With Action/Description

(K walks into the door of the apartment to see M standing in the bedroom doorway. She has an almost shellshocked expression of wonderment on her face. In one hand she holds a positive pregnancy test. K's expression changes from happy to dismayed and M's face falls as well in response)

 

K

No. Oh no…

M

K? What… what’s wrong?

K

Not now, not already…

 

(K's face hardens and he walks towards her. M seems to shrink as her happy daze disappears completely)

M

But K, a child. Our child. You always said you wanted… K, be careful!

 

(K roughly pushes M aside as he strides purposefully into the bedroom, slamming her into the doorframe. Tears are beginning to glisten in her eyes.

K

Pack your things. We’re leaving.

 

(M's resolve also appears to harden as she rounds on K, still close to tears. Halfway through her statement her anger fades to reveal a desperate longing.)

M

What’s wrong with you? You’ve never acted like this… never treated me this way. And what  are you saying about leaving? I only just found you again… K!

K

(angrily) I told you to pack your things, now do it!

M

Tell me what’s going on!

K

Don’t question me. I’ll explain…I’ll explain later. Just do it, now, do you understand me?

 

(M complies and goes into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. The anger drains from K's face. He is a man in despair, desperate, his world crushed in that instant he saw his wife in the doorway. He picks up the phone and dials a number, his hands shaking. A muffled voice can be heard replying to him on the other end of the line.)

K

It’s happened. Already… what time? Alright, alright. Are you sure? I have to… yes. Goodbye

Dialogue That Moves the Story Forward

I apologize, this probably makes no sense without the action/description, which I will add later.

K

No. Oh no…

M

K? What… what’s wrong?

K

Not now, not already…

M

But K, a child. Our child. You always said you wanted… K, be careful!

K

Pack your things. We’re leaving.

M

What’s wrong with you? You’ve never acted like this… never treated me this way. And what  are you saying about leaving? I only just found you again… K!

K

I told you to pack your things, now do it!

M

Tell me what’s going on!

K

Don’t question me. I’ll explain…I’ll explain later. Just do it, now, do you understand me?

K

It’s happened. Already… what time? Alright, alright. Are you sure? I have to… yes. Goodbye.

Writing Effective Dialogue

-Say it to yourself-

 Make sure the dialogue sounds good out loud, make sure it flows. Act it out in whispers.

-Develop a Voice-

If your characters have a strong voice and mannerisms, a unique style of speaking, then their lines will come naturally. Every character shouldn't sound like you. This isn't Julia Roberts' acting career.

-Create Good Situations-

Tense situations, unusual situations, all spark better dialogue. The character's lives shouldn't be boring.

Elements of the Hollywood Formula I Need To Think About

The Opening- I’m using a “prologue” type opening and it is going to take a romanc-y sort of tone which is very different from the rest of the movie. I have what’ll happen in the prologue carefully planned out (it’ s actually the only part of the story that I am absolutely sure about). However, I need to find a way to convey the tone of the rest of the movie during this part so it doesn’t get off on the wrong foot, so to speak.

Having Fun and Getting to Know Your Characters- This part is going to be pretty difficult for me. First of all, it’s not exactly going to be about, per se, having fun. Basically, this is the period where the mother is starting to find out slowly what is going on with her husband and the children are growing older. This is a period of at least a decade spent in isolation and I have to find a way to make it interesting. In order to do this I will probably have to introduce a few other characters and add some intrigue, as well as some interesting tests for the children.

The Final Push- Again, I really have no idea how it’s all going to play out. Somewhere before this there will be a “big reveal” where the mother finds out everything. The end will not take place at  the secluded hideout, there is a cataclysm and they leave. We face off with the cult for the first time. I know who dies here but that’s about it. I also know that the twins will probably be just coming into adulthood, 18 maybe.

My Logline: Revised

So I made a few changes. I'm actually pleased with the way it turned out, I found a way to streamline it and add a reference to a major element I didn't have room for in the original. Ta-daaa!

A mother must protect her twin children from the influence of the father she still loves and the cult that made him believe  they are destined to kill him.