#2: Writing Goals

So apparently you're supposed to have these things called "goals" when writing something and it's against the rules to just write willy-nilly, writing a lot one day and nothing the next and moving nowhere towards nothing. At the same time, I don't want to set myself completely unattainable goals, like "write a novel this week." In English classes they ask about your "writing goals" a lot, and they're generally supposed to be things like not using too much passive voice, and using varied sentence structure, and finishing your essays before the bell. But I already do all those things, or at least I think I do, so what should my writing goals be? Up until now whenever I was asked "Did you move towards any of your writing goals in this piece?"and then the dreaded "Explain," my thought process was Ummmmmm ... what were my goals again? Um, hmmm, it was good I guess, whatever, "I moved toward my goals in this piece because it was good. What does that even mean?

But from now on, it's not going to be like that . From now on, I am going to have Goals. Goals, I tell you. GOALS. And my first goal is to write every day. I mean, that's not too hard, right? Just put mechanical pencil to lined paper every day and churn out something that isn't my math homework done two hours before it's due. Unproductive writing, writing that isn't going to be a crappy short story until I read it a few days later and go "Hey, this is crappy!" It'll probably be crappy anyway, but at least I won't be expecting it to become anything. My second goal is to write a story that isn't cliched. That one will, I anticipate, be considerably harder. I have some stuff in mind, and maybe one day it will be an official novel and I will be an official unpublished author. Maybe I can even self-publish an e-book and then beg people on the internet to buy it so I can afford corn flakes and kitty litter for my thirteen cats, which will all be named after long words. I'm a word afficionado, so I can name them things like Sussuration and Persnickity and call them Susie and Percy when I'm not feeling formal. But, I digress. My third and final goal is to stop insulting my own writing so much. By reading this post and the one previous you've probably figured out that I tend to have a rather self-depricating sense of humor. Hopefully, in a few months, this blog will be filled with announcements of my sheer awesomeness....awesomenitude.......whatever. Or at least I will have stopped talking about how much my writing sucks, ie, push myself into total denial. There I go doing it again.
Anyway, here's a picture of a kitten!

Velkommen

Hello, fellow Creative Writing students, teacher, and anyone else who may stumble across this blog and then hightail it out when they realize it's yet another one full of a highschooler's crappy writing. You may notice the fancy background, I chose it to give this blog a sense of weight and importance. It screams "The words set over me have something earthshaking to say!" But in reality, I just chose it in five seconds from Blogger's premade templates. But you can ignore what I just said. Go ahead and follow, and read the things that I post. You can get a friend and some popcorn, and laugh at how terrible they are, or perhaps make a somewhat Freudian analyisis of all the deep-seated psychological issues they demonstrate. Feel free to comment and speculate; if any of you have a sudden realization that I need to see a shrink before I snap and go on a murderous rampage, stabbing people in the eye with my mechanical pencils like the Joker, feel free to let me know. (Just as a side note, I watched The Dark Knight yesterday. It was enjoyable, especially if you like Christian Bale's chiseled biceps, as I do.) The knowledge will certainly be valuable, to save all of your lives.

Anyway, this blog was created for a Creative Writing class, so there will probably be some creative writing posted on it, to provide interludes between pictures of shirtless Christian Bale (not really). There will almost certainly be some short stories and little vignettes, with some poems and maybe a few fragments of script or screenplay thrown in. They're likely to have a surprising and almost unconscious turn of morbidity and black humor, much like this very post. My tendencies towards death and darkness are belied by the fact that I don't enjoy truly violent books and movies, unless of course they feature the omnipresent Christian Bale. (This is the last time I will mention Christian Bale in this blog post, I swear. Whoops, did it again. Christian Bale. Christian Bale. Ok, I'm done now. Really.) Lord of the Flies frankly disturbed me, as did the end of 1984. My creative musings tend not to feature that type of outright brutality so much as a few characters just having a happy day with the happy little trees in their own happy little world (I'm a fan of The Joy of Painting, with Bob Ross), and then suddenly someone cracks a joke about gouging out eyes with a melon baller. (In case you don't know, that's a thing you use to make balls of melon. Useful if you want a fruit salad. Yummy yummy.) So if that kind of thing disturbs you, you'd better run fast. I also may occasionaly make rants about something or other, probably politics. If you're offended by proponents of regulated capitalism and gay marraige, you'd better run fast. Actually, you'd just better run fast either way. I think I feel that nervous breakdown coming on, and my pencils are nice and sharp.